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Headlines on Today's Breaking News

The Miami Tribune: Joe Garcia To Hire Jeffery Garcia For Absentee Ballot Project
In a memo to donors, Joe Garcia announced the he has hired former campaign manager Jeffery Garcia, no relation, to lead a special absentee ballot project that will 100% guarantee a victory over Annette Taddeo. Once clinching the nomination, Joe plans to continue the project with Jeffery in the general election.   

Key West Times: Taddeo: "I Regret Sending So Many Fundraising Emails"
After sending countless fundraising emails and raising zero to no funds, three timed failed candidate Annette Taddeo tweeted that she “regrets sending so many emails.” Sources familiar with her fundraising strategy said it took an intervention for her to see “that it just wasn’t working.”

The Miami Chronicle: Leaked Video: Joe Garcia Confesses To Funding Roly Arrojo
In a leaked video obtained by the Miami Chronicle, Joe Garcia is caught confessing that he encouraged the efforts to recruit and fund Roly Arrojo has a faux candidate to rig the election in his favor. Joe Garcia, who says he’s innocent till proven guilty, referred the Miami Chronicle to his criminal defense lawyer David O. Markus for further details.

Miami Dispatch: Taddeo Sets DCCC Record For Most Failed Campaigns In Florida 
The Democrat Congressional Campaign Committee recognized Annette Taddeo for setting the record for losing the most campaigns in Florida. Taddeo thanked her mentor Charlie Crist and stated that she is looking forward to breaking her own record with her current campaign.

The Miami Courier: DCCC Apologizes To Joe Garcia For Picking Taddeo Over Him
As Joe Garcia continues to make news with the hiring of Jeffery Garcia, no relation, the DCCC released an apology for taking sides during the primary in order pave the road for Annette Taddeo – a strategy they admit is unfair to Florida democrat voters and has just not been working. Garcia is a former dues-paying member of the DCCC. Following the apology the DCCC offered up Nancy Pelosi for a Miami Beach fundraiser in support of Garcia.


 Disclaimer: It’s April fools and the articles above are not actual articles… but you already knew that. 

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